Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
