There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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