I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
His hands were made for my vagina.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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