I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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