i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize