and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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