He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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