Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I wish you could order shots online.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
