Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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