he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
