Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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