What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
