Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
