i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
