for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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