chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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