If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
