i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
