I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So much rum. So many feels.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Randomize
