Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize