I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
