he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
