I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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