I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
