GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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