After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
