Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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