they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize