ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
