mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
