then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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