R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
