I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
