Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
