The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
