I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
