You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
