all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
