My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
