They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You are a genius and a whore.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
