God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
