He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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