ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize