The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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