just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
