I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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