sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
