So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
