I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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