Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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