a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
