I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
