This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
