Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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