I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
