who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
