I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
