also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
