Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
