Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
