Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
