Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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